Now I Feel ALL Better!

I absolutely love all things that have to do with privacy and blocking and everything else. I can gripe and moan and complain and everything else that I feel like doing without having to worry about the ramifications of doing so. :p So HA! Now I can think again! And by the way thank you all for your kind and loving and random words of encouragement and weirdness and anger on my rant, they all done my heart good. :D

I was thinking about coming over here and finishing my wedding *finally*, but I have some strange kid wailing in my bedroom 'cause she thinks she doesn't want to go to sleep yet, so I can't think too clearly right now. Hang on while I go remind her of the reason for her plug. There. That usually works. She lays in bed bellowing like a dying calf until I go tell her that her plug is supposed to be keeping her quiet, so therefore if it's not doing it's job I'm gonna hafta take it away from her. She usually stops the Hyenalike noises when she hears that.

I came up with a method for dealing with her Hypochondria also! She is usually inflicted with many and various distressing maladies (such as Diarrhea, a sore back, a headache [she always needs poop candy to cure that one], a neck ache, a bug bite, a sore toe and on and on) as soon as she's asked to pick up her toys or something like that. Ya know... stuff she doesn't wanna do. Put something away that she strewed across the house... eat her supper... go potty before she goes to bed... HA! half the time she's deathly ill and needs me to bring her "to Dr. Nurdock" because "she wiww make me feew bettow" if I happen to mention the words bed and time synonymously in a sentence. Anyway, the other day I gave her some unsweetened chocolate for her illness and she was cured! She felt better as soon as she ate it! And wonder of wonders, she hasn't gotten sick since! Not with a fake illness anyways. She had a sore throat today, but for some dumb reason I'm all out of Breath Away, so I just rubbed it down with Melaleuca oil, a little bit of Pain A Trate and then did a few pressure points for colds and sore throats and stuff. In a little while she said it felt better. She does flop around the house like a dead chicken quite often tho' in the midst of her and Rachel's "play" so I make sure I regularly bring her to the Chiropractor. I mean she was 3 days old when she went for the first time! Why should I stop bringing her now when she needs it more?

Speaking of the way her and her sister play... I was gonna let you know that it might be more aptly described as Footling or Wrestball or something along those lines. They firmly believe in some strange rule of the house that goes something like: "When walking past an innocent victim who is standing upright, calmly minding their own business, it is required by small girls to tackle the person who is standing. Whether or not the person you tackle is the one who ends up on the floor or not is optional. (Chapter IV, Section 765:90.1 Part 387;01.0, as written in the R Tumberg's Bylaws and Operating Instructions, Author Unknown)" I've never laid hands on this book, but both of my girls have read it from cover to cover, several times each, I think. Not only that but they get outraged at anyone who dares to breaks one of the laws in that book.
"MOMMY! Do you not listen to me?! I TOLD you I not WIKE DAT wike dat!! Put it ovew HEWE!"
"SORRY KID! Slap my neck for buttering your confusion!" That one usually gets her off the subject and me out of the hot water I unwittingly jumped into full up to my neck, as her eyes glaze over and she stares at me wondering what on earth I just said!

And Rachel. Ya know... that kid says lots of words. But boy let me tell you one thing! For every word she DOESN'T quite know how to say, she sures comes up with good sign language to explain herself! And if the signs and grunts don't work she will firmly grasp your hand and DRAG you over to the place she wants you and point and yell until you figure it out. And woe be unto you if you STILL can't understand! She will then throw herself face forward to the floor and proceed to wail and writhe about like a distressed worm- as mom so aptly described it one day. Yeah. That's another reason I haven't updated for a while.

Ya know? There were people that labeled us nuts for not having a TV. All I have to say is SERIOUSLY?! Can you imagine how BORING life would be with one of those hunksajunk in my house?! I know for one fact, mom & I would both be a lot sicker people than we are now, just from all the toxins we get rid of daily while we stand around with our mouths hanging open watching these kids march around. I also think it's humorous how the 'people that know things about kids' are now saying that Americans let their kids watch too much TV. And that the TV is a bad influence. Really. WHO'DA THUNK IT. Don't you find it funny when these idiots spend millions on research, that common sense already told the people who have it? Not that any of these morons would know what common sense was if it came up and bit them in the cheeks, but still. You get the point. If you don't... go sharpen your pencil and then come see me.

Sheesh. I'm easily distracted I guess... I accidentally got started reading the Thesaurus and now I forgot what else I was gonna say. Oh well. It obviously wasn't too important. Not that any of this was in the first place, but I like trying to trick people sometimes. It gives me humor during the dark nights.