Chapter 1

ROFL... I have had a whole bunch of people telling me I should write a book. Or lots of books. So I decided to see what you'd think of chapter 1. :D

Chapter One:

I was born.

And due to the fact that I'm an unconventional person born to unconventional people, I was born in an unconventional way. On November 9, 1983 mom went in for her appointment and was told that if something didn't happen in the next week they would have to induce her. Well, they had some shopping they needed to do so dad asked if that would be okay. Dr. Peterson said, "Of course! The more walking the better!" So they went shopping. And walking. Knowing mom it was probably miles and miles of it! Then on the way home, dad wanted to stop at Gene & Linda's. Well, of course, if you know my dad, a quick stop which involves opening his mouth and words coming out of said mouth is an ordeal that is destined to last several hours. If not longer. Finally somewhere around midnight mom was getting so tired she wanted to go home and get to bed. Well, the problem there was dad & Gene had gone downstairs to check the stove. Like an hour before. But as soon as dad saw mom coming down the stairs he hightailed it up the stairs and they finally headed home. Mom was so tired that she only put away the groceries that needed to be put in the fridge.

Somewhere around 2 or 3 she got up to go to the bathroom and realized her water was in the process of breaking. They called the Dr. and he quite calmly said to time the contractions for an hour or so. Well, they decided to go back to Gene & Linda's because Linda was a nurse. Now remember here, that mom had been told that she would probably be in labor for many hours because this was her first kid and she was 42 years old, so dad had this big huge box full of snacks and who knows what else to entertain himself while mom was in this long drawn out process. So anyways, dad goes out and checks the oil in the pickup whilst mom is in labor waiting to go to see Linda who is gonna calm all fears.

They get to Gene & Linda's and after a few minutes of timing contractions Linda decreed that they needed to go to the hospital. After that decision was made there was a long discussion about which vehicle should be taken to the hospital. There was something to do with the fact that Gene & Linda needed their car the next day so they would need to take two vehicles because mom needed to ride in the car so she would be a wee bit more comfortable. So they head off with dad in the lead, through the stormy rainy windy early morning.

As they were nearing the general vicinity of the hospital mom said, "Oooh Linda I feel like I need to go to the bathroom." And Linda said, "DON'T PUSH! DON'T PUSH!" to mom and to Gene she said, "Step on it!" So Gene sped up and passed dad who thought, "Oh boy! Something must be happening!" So he floored it and passed them. They came up to a stoplight and dad stopped and Gene rolled the window down and yelled, "RUN THE LIGHT! RUN THE LIGHT!"  The next light the came to had cars coming so they had to wait. When they finally got to the hospital, mom was convinced she couldn't move so they hauled her in in a wheelchair. As they whizzed through the hallway the nurse asked who her Dr. was and just as she said "Dr. Peterson." he stepped into the hallway, heard his name and whipped around to see who was talking about him. He was quite amazed when he saw mom!

They brought her into an exam room or something to check her and see what was actually going on and when Dr. Peterson checked her "his eyes opened up like saucer plates" (direct quotation from my dad) :D and he said, "SEVEN CENTIMETERS?! Get this lady into the delivery room!!!!" Mom's memory is sorta foggy on what time they actually got to the hospital and she needs to dig out her diary from 27 years ago to be sure on these times but she kinda thinks they got to the hospital at about 5 am. I was born November 10, 1983 at 7:27am. I weighed 7 lbs. 8 1/2 oz. and was 20 inches long. I was named after dad, mom, grandma & great-grandma. I have half of dad's name, two-thirds of mom's name and my middle name is after the grandma's Pearl Angie and Jessie Pearl. Therefore I am always a tisch irked when people spell my name with an H in it. I have never seen an H in Ronald so when my name comes from there why would you put an H in MY name??

I used to wish, when I was younger that my middle name was something more interesting, but I love it now! See, I can use it for one of MY kid's middle names and not have to worry that the poor child will be a RAT or a ROT or anything. I read a book when I was a child about some unfortunate fellow whose name was Raymond Allen Tally and the kids at school all teased him that he was a rat and that story traumatized me for life... SIGH. By the way... dad never had time to break into his large box of who-knows-what.

*I'm not exactly sure how I would end this glamorous chapter so I'm just gonna leave you hanging until I can figure out where my old diaries are that my dear mommy wrote in for me every day of my life until I was twelve years old and 'old enough to write my own diary' and young enough I must add to not GIVE a flying rip about diaries! SO. From then until I had my first crush when I was 14 I didn't keep a diary. Then I kept a bunch of them but I found them last summer and they were so filled with nonsense about a different guy every other page that I was madly in love with, that I happily shoved them deep into the burning pile. Reece has exhorted me that I mention the phrase, "The words on that van are vanishing." that I spoke when I was about 2. Or maybe even less. I can't remember saying it so I have a lot of reading to do.

Please excuse me while I go fry my brain.*