Help?

SIGH!!! I would DEARLY love to know how to make my picture cover the FULL background on this page!! I've tried and tried for days and weeks and YEARS to figure it out and Asked my dear cousin's computer whiz kid if HE could help me and HE couldn't even figure out the problem. SHEESH!!! And then ol' Elina just came along and selected her picture and her's covers the whole background and she didn't even try! No matter what I try it says my picture is too big. And then it tells me that to cover the whole background, it's supposed to be 1800 X 1600. OR LARGER. Well, I can tell you THIS right now! They are DEFINITELY larger! But in order for it to upload I have to resize it SMALLER than their own specs!! What's THAT supposed to mean! I tried following the directions on their help page and none of those things work either!!

Screw it all. I'm gonna run away with my husband for a week. Someone quick come teach my mother some Yoga or something so her hair isn't pure white by the time I come home. Catch ya on the flip flop! This here's Calamity Jane on the side,

We gone,

Bye BYE!