I have this friend who has been kicking around in my life for so long that I don't even know when we "met." We used to go visit them when we'd go on a trip to where she lived and I remember having a great time but I don't remember the details she does. I think my memories from when I was a little kid are lost in a fog. My brain figures it has enough stuff to deal with so it shuts off stuff it doesn't think is important, and whether I agree on the importance of said memories apparently doesn't matter to it.
We did your normal stuff when we'd see each other as teenagers... Drink too much Mountain Dew, smoke too many cigarettes, stay up too late and ingest way too much coffee. This was of course interspersed with loading way too many girls in one car and driving down the road singing along with the radio too loud.
She met her heathen before I met mine and got written out of people's lives before I did, so when I had to deal with all that nonsense she knew what it was all about. We both met our heathens in August so maybe there's something wonderful in the air in August or something.
We spent hours at Starbucks with ventis talking about how ridiculous it is when people ship you off to hell before they ever find out if you even need to go there. This also included watching the dude from DQ puking in the bushes and then going back to work without washing his hands.
We've talked on the phone for many hours over the years since then. Talking about pregnancy and its complications, how awesome our heathens are, the way depression sucks, how we hate that babies die, the fact that kids are goons, how hopes and dreams are shattered, what methods of homeschool we like, the way you get misunderstood and bellowed at by the baby pumps, and the best ways to obliterate a box of pickles.
She's the person I can call when I get just plain pissed about my kids being gone. She's the one I text and say thank you for being the other person I can swear to. She gets why I rant and rave and kick and scream and she wholeheartedly supports me doing all of the above and suggests it to me if I didn't think of it yet. When we talk on the phone... if we're not sobbing, we're laughing so hard we're crying.
She sends me angel and teddy bear figurines and 90% cocoa chocolate for the bad days and makes me things to remind me that she never forgets my babies. Any of them. She knows how to weep with those that weep and rejoice with those that rejoice. She hugs me tight when she sees me and hauls me off to visit people I've never met. She likes real people and doesn't have time for flakiness.
I think I bring out the worst in her because her husband always knows who she's talking to when he walks past and hears her preaching loudly, guffawing hysterically, sniffling loudly, or shouting Amen! People think she's this quiet, calm, mild-mannered individual and I snicker loudly to myself.
She's awesome, except that SHE won't ever let me feel mean for feeling anything I feel either. She tells me it's normal until I wanna beat her in the head because I hate my normal and then she hugs me and understands why I hate this normal and wanna beat her in the head.
People. This is a description of a friend. They are your safe place to turn to when the world has gone mad and you just wanna yell, "Stop the world, I wanna get off!" The ones who are there for you no matter what and mean it when they say that. They let you be you, no matter who you are that day. They love you like God, not for what you do or how you do it or if they think you're wrong or right or otherwise. They brace you up when you can't stand, and they never tell you to get over whatever you're feeling because it makes THEM uncomfortable. They understand that if you're saying something it's meaningful because it's how you feel and your feelings matter to them.
I sincerely hope all of you have a friend like this kicking around your life. They're extremely helpful in keeping you from spinning around on your ear and they can always be counted on to tell you if your hat's on crooked.
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