I've been thinking about coming over here and updating this since it's been approximately 46 years since I last graced your eyes with words of wit and wisdom. I ain't saying that I'm filled with either one, but you can at least be entertained by the strangeness that I'm glued together with. Only problem is that Rosie has her new Cedarmont Kids Christmas CD blasting over here so I'm getting a wee bit distracted by that, due to the fact that I LOVE Christmas songs and the Christmas season never lasts long enough for me even if I start playing my CDs the day after Thanksgiving. Glory! I just noticed that every one of these sentences has about 30,000 words in it. Run-on sentences anyone? Happy New Year! 
Okay, I'll talk to you in another 4 months when I can think.
Oh. Wait. I haven't said anything yet. Shucks. Well... HI! How are you doing this fine day?
LOL! I just looked down the hall and Rachel was just standing there kinda weaving around like an unsteady tree gazing at Rosie who is most likely doing something naughty due to the fact that's she's being quiet. I must go investigate. Please remain calm while I go check this out.
Thank you for remaining calm while I screeched like a fishwife when I found the cube of Unsalted butter that I had softening to make Christmas cookies (I'm on top of things this year) rubbed all over the floor by the stove and Rosie's clothes and the hall carpet... Rosie looked up at me when I came around the corner and said, "Me not take the BUTTER?!" Heavy days! (Rosie's butcheration of MY phrase; "HEAVENLY DAYS!") If she KNOWS she ain't sposta theive it then WHY does she do these things to me? All I ever did for her was give birth and feed and clothe her and take care of her when she's sick and she repays me with evil! Shall I go weep under my bed? No, I guess not. I just remembered we don't have a bed frame so it'd be too much work to get under there. Oh and remember the fishwife reference? I really didn't screech like one. Number one reason is 'cause I have no idea what that even means and number two is because I didn't feel like bellowing.
Reason number three? I was too busy trying to clean Rachel's hands and feet and clothes. See, while I searched for the proper cleaning mechinism to clean butter off the floor, she grabbed what was left of the stick and squished it through her fingers and onto her clothes. That kid could give lessons on speed and efficiency to a demolition crew that has been in the business for 30 years.
Speaking of Rachel, she started walking all over creation last Tuesday. On Wednesday mom & dad went to Fargo so my 3rd & 4th set of eyes (meaning mom) was MIA. Well suffice it to say that I was ready to sell these kids back to the Energizer Bunny Factory from whence they came but then I remembered whose loins they came from and the things that people say about your kids paying you back for the stuff you did when you were younger. But now, in retrospect, shouldn't I have already served my time? There wasn't two of me when I was growing up! Or is Rachel dishing out REECE'S payback? If that's the case then he should come be a stay at home dad while I go out and drive truck. haHA! (If I have never told you this dirty little secret, let me just inform you right now that I once tried to pull a company truck ahead in a parking spot at a truck stop. It was a semi-automatic but that didn't stop me from stalling it dead 20 feet from where I was SUPPOSED to be stopping.)
See?! Now my whole thought train derailed and I have no idea what I was trying to say here. Does it mean something when you can go back and re-read everything you just wrote and you still can't remember what you were saying?? If it's some sort of negative reflection on my brain waves please keep silence.
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SIGH... okay I get your point. You think that LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG moment of silence was funny don't you? Well I don't. Therefore I'm never speaking to you again. Goodbye forever.
Oh! WAIT! I just remembered something else I was going to say. I'm wondering how I can stick a link on here to another blog or something? I wanted to give my cousin some credit for making me laugh and inspiring this whole run-on sentence thing you just read. Well, I guess that's not quite right. I DID have something bright and witty to say when I logged in but then a couple things happened like butter and train derailments and I forgot. Oh yeah. I already said that. Anyways, it's Jen's fault that I even started talking on here today so if you wanna complain about your eyes being sore and your brain hurting just go complain to her about it. Altho'... I suppose... when Levi made the suggestion he didn't know what he was saying, poor man. He probably thought that I would say something that made sense. HA! Shows how much he knows about me!
Maybe in a few days when I get the butter out of my carpet I'll know something.
Okay, I'll talk to you in another 4 months when I can think.Oh. Wait. I haven't said anything yet. Shucks. Well... HI! How are you doing this fine day?
LOL! I just looked down the hall and Rachel was just standing there kinda weaving around like an unsteady tree gazing at Rosie who is most likely doing something naughty due to the fact that's she's being quiet. I must go investigate. Please remain calm while I go check this out.
Thank you for remaining calm while I screeched like a fishwife when I found the cube of Unsalted butter that I had softening to make Christmas cookies (I'm on top of things this year) rubbed all over the floor by the stove and Rosie's clothes and the hall carpet... Rosie looked up at me when I came around the corner and said, "Me not take the BUTTER?!" Heavy days! (Rosie's butcheration of MY phrase; "HEAVENLY DAYS!") If she KNOWS she ain't sposta theive it then WHY does she do these things to me? All I ever did for her was give birth and feed and clothe her and take care of her when she's sick and she repays me with evil! Shall I go weep under my bed? No, I guess not. I just remembered we don't have a bed frame so it'd be too much work to get under there. Oh and remember the fishwife reference? I really didn't screech like one. Number one reason is 'cause I have no idea what that even means and number two is because I didn't feel like bellowing.
Reason number three? I was too busy trying to clean Rachel's hands and feet and clothes. See, while I searched for the proper cleaning mechinism to clean butter off the floor, she grabbed what was left of the stick and squished it through her fingers and onto her clothes. That kid could give lessons on speed and efficiency to a demolition crew that has been in the business for 30 years.Speaking of Rachel, she started walking all over creation last Tuesday. On Wednesday mom & dad went to Fargo so my 3rd & 4th set of eyes (meaning mom) was MIA. Well suffice it to say that I was ready to sell these kids back to the Energizer Bunny Factory from whence they came but then I remembered whose loins they came from and the things that people say about your kids paying you back for the stuff you did when you were younger. But now, in retrospect, shouldn't I have already served my time? There wasn't two of me when I was growing up! Or is Rachel dishing out REECE'S payback? If that's the case then he should come be a stay at home dad while I go out and drive truck. haHA! (If I have never told you this dirty little secret, let me just inform you right now that I once tried to pull a company truck ahead in a parking spot at a truck stop. It was a semi-automatic but that didn't stop me from stalling it dead 20 feet from where I was SUPPOSED to be stopping.)
See?! Now my whole thought train derailed and I have no idea what I was trying to say here. Does it mean something when you can go back and re-read everything you just wrote and you still can't remember what you were saying?? If it's some sort of negative reflection on my brain waves please keep silence.
...
...
...
...
...
...
SIGH... okay I get your point. You think that LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG moment of silence was funny don't you? Well I don't. Therefore I'm never speaking to you again. Goodbye forever.
Oh! WAIT! I just remembered something else I was going to say. I'm wondering how I can stick a link on here to another blog or something? I wanted to give my cousin some credit for making me laugh and inspiring this whole run-on sentence thing you just read. Well, I guess that's not quite right. I DID have something bright and witty to say when I logged in but then a couple things happened like butter and train derailments and I forgot. Oh yeah. I already said that. Anyways, it's Jen's fault that I even started talking on here today so if you wanna complain about your eyes being sore and your brain hurting just go complain to her about it. Altho'... I suppose... when Levi made the suggestion he didn't know what he was saying, poor man. He probably thought that I would say something that made sense. HA! Shows how much he knows about me!
Maybe in a few days when I get the butter out of my carpet I'll know something.
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