Questions and Gripes

I had a doctor appointment today and as you may know, my regular doctor that replaced my dear Dr. M. is now on maternity leave (as of yesterday) and so I had to go see ANOTHER new Dr today. Of course I worked myself into a tizzy about it... Then she walked in the door cackling with glee about something and I felt better immediately. :D She was hilarious -and you know that's one of my requirements in doctors!! She almost made me wish that I would have switched to her right away -even as I feel bad saying so... *SIGH* I guess I'll see how it goes and then decide come January. She was reassuring... made no bones about the fact that I have every reason to be scared shitless every time this kid doesn't hiccup for 37 minutes. She informed me that ANYtime I felt worried about something or felt that something wasn't right I'm to COME IN. THAT made me feel good!! Like I'm not the only one thinking this pregnancy to death or something. :) When my appointment was done I went to see Dr. S's baby; who is VERY cute with lots of dark hair!! She began screeching soon after I arrived tho' and the person holding her never offered to let me hold her, so I didn't get to. *sigh* Oh well... Dr. S. was very happy with my gift for her so it's all good... :D


And my appointment today leads me into one of my gripes. And a question. Actually, they're kinda combined. I weighed 177.something today. And this is my question: WHY am I not allowed to casually mention that I have now gained a sum total of 52 lbs. and that I'm well on my way to my goal of 200 lbs. without having SOMEONE jump all over me and inform me that;
1. I don't LOOK like I have gained that much weight**.
2. They don't know where I hide it.
3. They can't underSTAND why I would WANT to get to 200 lbs.
4. It's okay because I lose it all right away anyway!
**These same people can never figure out why I can't stand in one spot for more than 30 seconds without back spasms and how come I hobble like an ancient woman when I start walking after sitting a while because my back and hips are used to hauling around 125 not 177. This kinda makes me suspect there is something a little off with their deductive skills...
... which leads to my gripe questions.
1. Must I look like a Sea Canary to weigh a lot??
2. Do you really want me to take some pictures of me UNCLOTHED so you can see for YOURSELF that I have in fact; grown wider in the shoulder expanse, bigger in the bicep section, fatter in the butt region, bulgy in the waist area, rounder in the thigh territory, larger in the boob segments, heftier in the knee departments and broader in the hand zones?
3. Can I not just gain a bunch of weight and be normal? This is my normal. Why can't it be? Why SHOULDN'T I want to get to 200 lbs.?? When you're normally underweight, an 80 lb. weight gain is something to talk -if not brag- about!! Have you ever heard the term "water retaining sea cow"? If not, you need to tune in to Jeff Foxworthy a lil more so you understand the humor. Do you HAVE any humor? Seriously. I'm not falling in a deep depression because I am fast approaching my husband's weight. Please read my lips: IT. DOESN'T. BOTHER. ME. I've already done it twice. This is normal, which in turn makes me feel awesome!!
4. Why do I have to be comforted?? Is there something written in the laws of the Meades & the Persians that says, "If you gain lots of weight when pg you are required to be ashamed and/or depressed because of it."?? Good grief people! Let it go already! No, my husband doesn't think ALL my fat is great, but there are several spots on which he smiles happily. LOL! I guess that makes up for the other bothersome things... like the purple stretch marks on the belly, butt, thighs & knees.

I certainly hope someone doesn't decide that now I'm complaining about pregnancy. You know how people are... you say something about one thing and they dash off wailing about another. This is my main gripe. Would you please allow me to be fat & happy already?!? I don't need platitudes or consoling. Got it? Thank you.

My next gripe of the day is Suntrust bank in SC. I have had account there since before we were married, altho' for the last few years it's only had $3.20 in it, I left it there just so I would have a place to go if I ever went down there and needed a bank for some reason. ANYWAY. I got a letter yesterday informing me that they were getting rid of the free checking account, so I decided to just close the thing 'cause it's getting to be a nuisance by now! Anyhow, I called them today and gave them all the info they wanted, whereupon I was informed that my account was already closed! I was like, "HUH?! So where did the money go then? I mean, you know... my whopping $3??" She didn't know but she said that after a certain amount of time they just automatically close your account if it hasn't been used, and transferred me to an "Account Specialist" who could further assist me.
  Alrighty, that's great. (The "Account Specialist" woman may or may not have actually been working from a Productive Alternatives office where she was on break from counting the small colored strips of tape that was her normal job.) Anyway, she inquired what my concern was today and I explained that I had received the notice whereupon I decided to close my account, only to find that it had already been mysteriously closed, and I inquired as to her knowledge of such a happening.
  Ms. "Account Specialist" gazed upon my account and then brightly informed me that my account had been closed on the 13th of this month. I said, "Oh really? And so where did the money go then?!" "Account Specialist" couldn't tell me that, but she COULD tell me what method was used for the withdrawal, which she then tried telling me I had done when I came into one of their branch offices. I said, "Ma'am, I'm in Minnesota. I haven't been in SC for almost 4 years!" Then she decided that since this was a joint account one of the other account holders must have come in and closed it. I replied, "They're both in Minnesota too! And not only that, neither one of them knows my account number!!" Whereupon Ms. "Account Specialist" at LONG last informed me that when they close your checking account for you, the make out a check for the amount that was in the account and then mail it to you 10 days after closing. They are scheduled to be mailing me a check in the amount of $3.20 on October 23rd. At which point I almost blew a gasket and pounded my head against a wall, which come to think of it, probably would have been more productive in the first place!! SHEESH!! You realize that I spent 8 minutes and 28 seconds of my valuable time talking to an IDIOT?! I've met DOGS that used their heads and showed off better than that program put on by Ms. "Account Specialist"!!

In other news, my pee was great at my appointment today, my weight gain was 'good' (LOL!), my BP was normal, the baby's heartbeat was somewhere around 150 and she's laying on her side with the hoe & shovel off to my right side. (You HAVE felt that scrape thing kids do that feels like they're hoeing a row of weeds in there haven't you?!) I also managed to make Dr. Shaneen laugh uproariously and said she's gonna hafta remember to tell that to her moms when I informed her that I have FINALLY figured out why the nurses massage your belly so bloody hard after you have a kid. They are trying to get all the gymnastic equipment, jungle gyms & gardening stuff shoved back into place for the next kid to use. I had previously informed the nurse that fact also, she laughed loudly and said, "Yeah! And they go into a TINY little closet so we really have to massage!" :D

I have several folks waiting for me to hike off to the bank now, so I think I shall bid thee farewell for this moment in time. :)

Have a great day and don't bank at Suntrust.