Sigh...

I have been exhorted by my admiring public *snicker* to update my blog. But the only problem I have is the small thing called nausea. It's fine, and I'm glad I have it, but it's just the small matter that when one feels like one is jumping rope on a trampoline on a motor boat during a hurricane on the Indian Ocean, it's hard for one's crustomony wit and/or humor to spring forth for viewing pleasure. Not only that but when pg I worry. About nothing in particular and everything in general. It's quite the annoyance to tell ya the truth!! And when I'm not eating or worrying, I'm generally dreaming the world's stupidest dreams or else having nightmares.

The other day my nightmare was about my dad trying to hug me. I was so scared and no matter how many Tornado slides and swingsets I shoved in front of him he still kept finding me and catching me and trying to hug me. One day I was dreaming about going into Golden Ring and ripping the safety director a new hide for treating my husband like a POS. Which in my opinion is a stupid thing to do when you're a safety director and are SUPPOSED to be having the man stay safe on the road NOT badgering him into worrying himself sick because he sees a cop in the state of Indiana. SHEESH! Actually both of those dreams were the same night mixed in with a few stupid others that I can't remember right now for some odd reason. You'd think I'd remember as many times as I had them that same night! And the following night.

I am also being horrible about updating Rachel's baby book with all her teeth -which BY THE WAY... she now has all 4 of her eye teeth far enough out of her gums that there is no more danger of them receding back behind enemy lines again like they did already once and had me threatening to break out a jack hammer to aid their progress. I generally use that threat whenever I have a kid teething. Usually at least 3 times per tooth. It never seems to scare the blasted teeth into submission tho'. SIGH!!

Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that today my nausea is being helped by the odor of bovine dung that wafts gently through my open window every now and then. I'm guessing somebody is spreading liquid shit somewhere 'cause in case you may be ignorant of this minor detail, liquid shit smells 93 1/2% worse than regular ol' poop. It's a very distinctive odor, one that you don't soon forget -especially when you live in MN in the springtime. And mom has the audacity to hope that whoever is hauling will kindly bring some by our house and stick some on my puny lil flower bed -that we just discovered this year, as I have mentioned in times past.

I am in the process of making some delightful and lovely and wonderful -I hope- chocolate cake for Bible Study tonight so I can go there and sit feeling miserable while I try to pay attention and keep my kid's sounds on the low end the decibel scale. The only problem I usually have is that I have a small daughter that thinks it's fun to jump and twist and turn and flop about on my lap until I could just as well wear full body armor so I'm not constantly getting jabbed in the gross-feeling-gut or ending up sitting primly at my table with my skirt tucked up neatly by my ears.

One thing that annoyed me today was going to Rachels' WIC appointment and having the lady act all stupid about my weight. Or should I say lack thereof. Seriously woman! What am I supposed to to about it? What do you suggest? That I eat a lot of food?? ROFL! Come over for supper some night and check out my plate! Don't you realize that if there's one thing my in-laws love mentioning it's the fact that I can eat tons of food? Glory. Not everybody can gain weight while they read cookbooks!

I think I shall go lay down and act lazy for a few minutes until I feel a smidgen better, 'cause looking at a computer screen makes my guts rebel. Or maybe that's the Chicken Ramen Noodles with Tabasco Sauce that I ate earlier, topped off with Root Beer & EmergenC. :D Naw... The Ramen noodle combo is something I regularly crave and eat when pg so it ain't that. Must be the liquid cow perfume.