Ahm tellin' ya'll Ah maht jest be gray by the tahm Ah'm 30...

Glory be! To quote Rosie, "Kids these days!" Today was kinda one of those days. Ya know the kind I'm talkin'? The kind where your kids said and did so many strange and abnormal things that you can't quite figure out where to start the tellin'? Or if you should even try?

Rachel has apparently watched her father pick up heavy objects too often. She now firmly believes that when lifting something- be it a sheet, couch cushion, blanket or garbage can- she is required by the Laws of the Medes and the Persians to grunt and groan and roar at the top of her lungs. She's quite good at the acting too! She even knows how to make her head all red like she's about to blow the brain cells out!

Oh yes. And she figured out the clapping thing today. So she went happily around cheering herself on and laughing about everything she said. That's normal for her. I think she kinda takes after me. She cracks herself up on a regular basis while the rest of us stare at her with our mouths hanging open wondering what on earth?! And then if she sees us scratching our proverbial heads at her she laughs even harder. And it ain't no calm baby laugh. She laughs like a pirate that just found a ship loaded with gold and every sailor on it already dead so it's free for the taking.

Rosie is a very wise child. She wanders around, spewing bits of pithy wisdom like a dictionary that was sent through a paper shredder. You never know what piece of confetti is gonna land on you or what it's gonna sound like. And if by some great internal malfunction of your hearing appendages you have to ask her to repeat herself she thinks that screaming her words at the top of her lungs 36 times is gonna make you magically understand what she means instead of what it sounds like she's saying. She also has some sort of problem with her armpits. They generally 'stink VERY bad' about 17 times a day. And when that happens, she feels called to dig her fingers in my deodorant and claw half the tube out on to the floor to remedy the odor. Guess it works! My bedroom hasn't smelled that strong for deodorant in years!

She is currently lying on my bed bellowing like a wounded animal. She usually also feels the need to inform us mid-bellow; "I a dying cow!!" Which makes us laugh. Which makes her sound closer to a dying hyena than a cow, but I guess... she must know what species she is from don't ya think? Maybe not. Or else if she's mad about something and bawling, she screeches "I having a fit and sceeming and cwying!" And as soon as we say, "Did you think we hadn't figured that out? Why are you having a fit?!" she calms down and tells us her issues. It helps when she knows that I don't understand her when she whines or roars. ;)

Reece was whining to me tonight -Ya wonder where the kids get it from?- that he had to make his bed 'cause his wife is such an evil woman that she wouldn't do it for him. So I suggested that he leave her and marry me then. He thought that was a good idea... so we'll see. I'll let you know if he follows through on that one or not. I asked if the kids he has with his wife are cute and he said they were so I said I'd take them on. And then he laughed at me! Some days that man just makes me wonder...

Rosie has now been in bed for almost 2 hours and she's still not sleeping. Last I checked she was talking to the dog about something. I banished the dog to the couch and so I suppose Rosie's gonna hafta get out of bed and go scratch the soap or some dumb thing. I got a really cool bar of soap when we were in Montana this summer and it has a flower design going through it and she's constantly trying to pick the flowers. If I have the nerve to get after her about her activities she says, "Me don't dare??"

I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words Bother me, so I'm gonna shut up until a later date when I can actually think of some more Rosieisms to help you rid yourself of some toxins. ;D LOL!