Random Rampages

 I said this in a comment on Facebook, but I'm gonna say it again here. It's true. Always.

 I've said it so many times, God knows the THOUGHTS and the INTENTS of our hearts. It ain't gonna surprise him if we get mad at him and rant and rave. He understands and he still loves us. Because he loves us: Right. Where. We. Are. Not where we should be. Not where somebody else thinks maybe we should be. Where we ARE. Is getting mad the right thing to do? Maybe not. But I know one thing and one thing for sure. 

 Not one single person has EVER gotten an instruction manual for a kid when they were born or a grief manual when they died. What you feel is what you feel because you're you. And being you is never wrong no matter who says it is. God created you to be you and for you to try to be anything else or for you to try to feel anybody else's feelings is to not be who God created you to be. Every path is different because we are all different. For someone to actually think they can hide the fact that they're mad at God is hysterically laughable and sad. They actually think, they are HIDING something, from the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. Wow. Talk about foolish. And God, who sends LIFE, NOT death, loves you. Where. You. Are.

 I gotta add a P.S. on here too. I'm in the process of trying to get what I feel and what I know to line up with each other. And lots of the time they just don't mesh. I KNOW the devil is the freak who loves killing babies and kids and people off, but I FEEL like God betrayed us. Like he should have stopped the devil. And having all these lemon sucking people telling you that God SENDS death to TRY us, that death is God's will, that death is God's plan... And that we are now supposed to trust him... Yeah. I don't trust someone who sends death on a lark and kills people to prove a point. The only way I see out of that, is the fact that it is UNbiblical to shove this blame all off on God. It's actually doing the devil's will. What more could he ask for than to have you blame GOD for something HE did?? Yeah, I know. I said it before, but it bears repeating.

 God sees death as a blessing. To WHOM? The person who died, if they were a Christian. It's a blessing for THEM. But. And here's a huge BUT. WE who are left HERE, feel pain and anguish and numbness and all sorts of garbage. Death isn't a blessing to anybody but the one who died if you ask me! Should we be thankful they're in heaven? Yeah. Should you tell us to be thankful NOW? Nope. I can give you the response off the top of my head or I can tone it majorly down and just say, Screw you. We will be thankful in our OWN time, thank you very cotton pickin' much! This isn't YOU. This is me. This is Reece. This is US. Where we are. Not where you think we should be because of some strange, back-handed, screwed up thought process.    If you want to sit in a funeral parlor holding your ice cold baby and shout "Thank you Lord this kid is dead and gone to heaven!" You go right ahead. But don't you dare tell me that's what I should say. Oh yeah, I guess death can be seen as a blessing to us. AFTER we get done being mad, AFTER the truck finally drives off our chests, and AFTER we get done feeling like we got shot in the head. NOT while the bullet is still making its way through our brains. Tell me, did I say something like that before? It seems vaguely familiar.

 If you want to tell me that you know what fear is, then you tell me this also. How many of your kids have you stuck in a box and closed the lid and buried and bought a tombstone for? 

  If you want to tell me that some person somewhere up your family tree had 26 miscarriages and carried on just fine, then you can also tell me this: what does that have to do with ME? What made you get so big into cloning? Since when did everybody on the face of the earth start reacting the exact same way to stuff? And SINCE WHEN is a miscarriage the same as a baby who LIVED. I want to know. And since you're taking the liberty of telling me they're the same, YOU get to be the one to answer me. 

  One last thing. If you want to tell me that Christians are somehow exempt from human emotions, then you can explain this one to me too. How come Christians are only allowed the "acceptable" stages of grief? And why are YOU the one who gets to decide what those stages are? 

  Oh crap. Here's one more. Lol! Tell me this. What in the Sam Hill bit of difference do you think it makes who died or how long they lived and what makes you think that grieving a baby isn't the same as grieving your dad? Supposedly grieving a baby isn't the same because with a baby you're grieving a future and with your... older person who died... it's grieving a past. Never mind. Don't answer that, because I already know the answer. You're wrong. I'll tell you why you're wrong too. Because you're NOT grieving a past you molawn! You're not SAD they LIVED and you made all sorts of memories with them! You're SAD because you will never be able to make MORE memories with them! Here's a hint. Making more memories is something you do in the future or right now. That would be, to spell it out, grieving a future without that person in it. Thank you. I've wanted to say that for years.

 Heh, that was a long P.S. and it ventured into stuff that has been a post in my head for a while now, but I didn't have the energy and gumption to write it all out before. Now I did and I feel all relaxed and stuff. Bahaha! *snicker* 

 As always, I shall leave you with some words of wisdom: God loves you, and screw the devil anyway you can. I'll be over here, cheering you on while I scrape pieces of me back up off the floor and glue them back together with God's glue.