Pleasing People is Unpleasant

  So let's talk about why I'm not a people pleaser. Let's look into what all goes into pleasing everyone. Let's figure out why exactly it doesn't bother me that people can't stand me when I'm being me. 

  First of all, when you live your life to please people, you will be stark raving mad after a week or less, so I don't really recommend it too highly. This phenomenon is caused mostly due to the fact that nobody can agree about what you should do and think or how you should and shouldn't act. 

  Some people think you should be calm and quiet and others think you should vent off steam when needed. Some people think you should never yell and others think you should yell louder. Some folks want to you shut up and others tell you to keep preaching. People want you to tell your spouse everything and when you do, other people pitch hissy fits and are shocked you're still married because of the way you treat each other.

  You need to tell your friends when you're mad at them because if you don't they get worried and are scared you're in depression (I was) and if you tell someone else who's known you longer, that you're mad at THEM, they have heart failure and crawl into a corner. One person says you should still treat them like you're close friends even when you're the only one who ever puts forth any effort and the rest say there's no point in bothering with such nonsense. "You need to have tact" but "if people don't know what you're like by now there's no point trying to explain it to them any more."

  You should never cut your hair but you're kinda selfish if you don't donate it to Locks of Love. You should nurse your kid until he's 105 but if you nurse him too long you're a sicko. You should have your baby at home because it's completely natural but you should most definately have your kid in a hospital because that's the safest place. Some folks want you to immunize to the max and the rest say you should never touch the stuff. If you immunize your kid you won't ever have to worry about them getting dread diseases but they could possibly be paralyzed, be a vegetable, die of SIDS or become autistic.

  If you try to have the wedding nobody can gossip about by not having it video taped you are condemned because you had "country western" music. One person (a well known preacher) says you had the most beautiful wedding he's been to for years and some (anonymous) individual says it was terrible worldly. Someone condemns you to hell for marrying the dude you marry and a pile of others say it's a match made in Heaven. 

  Some folks say you're much too hard on your kids and others tell you you're too lenient. One person says you should let your kids watch all the trash on TV and others (including the medical professionals) tell you to completely limit TV (IF you have it at all,) with no TV being the best of the options. 

  Some people want you to be accepting of every new wind of doctrine that floats across the horizon and others say you should stay on the straight and narrow way. One person says you're a legalist and another says you're a liberal. One person thinks you're immodest and the other acts like you dress in sackcloth and sit in ashes, scraping boils all day.

  You should never use homeopathic medicine because it's witchcraft but the atheists and evolutionists who help out the pharmaceutical companies are ok. Saying your body's organs store emotions is New Agey but Laestadius says they do. Essential oils are spooky but you shoudn't use antibiotics.

  Some people think it's perfectly acceptable to tell you that you owe them for the Christmas gift they got you and the rest of the planet says that's insane. You should never walk away from abusive situations but you should never stay in an unhealthy relationship. It's never okay to be cliquey unless you're cliquey with the right people and that's a variable, because it depends on which clique is talking to you and if they're a clique or not.

  You should have a female doctor but females shouldn't have jobs outside the home. You shouldn't associate with the world but you need to do the work of an evangelist. You should sing songs so slow that a person can die and be buried between stanzas without missing a beat but the Bible says to make a JOYFUL noise and have all sorts of wonderful praise going on all the time.

  Most critters will tell you any time they feel the urge, that you are a terrible daughter because you don't act right with your parents. The next person says that if someone wants to criticize you, send them over and they'll set the record straight. Some people think they know you just cause they saw the outside actions of your dad and others know why you are the way you are because of how he is. One person tells you your husband is lying about his life and a host of others tell you the same stories he does.

  The bottom line is, you're supposed to be blunt, tactful, honest, crooked, holy, hellish, modest, immodest, strict, tolerant, mild, fierce, calm, boisterous, neat, messy, organized, chaotic, clean, dirty, legalistic, liberal, strong, weak, ladylike, tomboyish, open, closed, merciful, merciless and magnanimous, but you need to set boundaries. And you're supposed to do all of it with a smile on your face, 'cause if you scowl it means you're full of hate and that's not good...