Real Friends

  I have a few questions I've wondered about for years. I wonder why people are all supportive in print but not in real life. How come the only people who ever visit are ones who don't live here? How come nobody wants us at their birthday parties? Why do I have to send out gold plated, engraved, notorized documents of existence printed with silver ink in order to be remembered when something fun is going on?

  People like me because I'm "brave" and "bold" and "funny" but they don't like me enough to like me in person. "Oh, I didn't think about asking you!" Yes, I'm aware of that. You haven't thought of it for 10 years. You're too busy thinking up your next delightful Facebook post to remember anything else.

  It's interesting that the only person who regularly comes to my house is my husband. Then I get to do fun things and talk to another human in person. People in other states have no problem contacting me no matter how busy and crazy their life gets. They even know how to text! Then of course if someone from out of state does come over they hear about it from other sources... They should have stayed elsewhere, they shouldn't stay so long, and they should never EVER spontaneously spend the night!! Maybe my house has the bubonic plague and I just haven't been informed about it yet? I'm not even sure anymore.

  I've wondered if it's because losing babies is contagious, but it was happening before that all started. I wonder if it's because I'm an only kid so therefore I get punished for not having my own siblings to go places with. I've wondered if it's because I'm not on the baby making train with them. I've pondered if maybe they're actually just a bunch of liars when they say they like honesty. I mean the only reason I got 2 meals after one of the kids is because someone in another state got vehement that I never got meals when the kids were born and talked loudly about it to someone.

  Now I'm beginning to think its all of the above. Baby loss is contagious, I'm not on the same train, my house has a plague, and people are liars. And I'm also sick of all the one way roads in Minnesota. I can't wait to move somewhere where people won't know they're supposed to exclude me.

  People asked me repeatedly what I was gonna do with my husband home so much when he was home on weekends. He's home more now than he was then and guess what, I have an answer for you. I'm gonna talk to him and go do fun things with him since he's the only human on the face of Minnesota besides my mom who knows where I live.

P.S. I'll be waiting for the comments that tell me it's because of rants like this that nobody speaks to me. Then I can laugh and laugh and laugh and ask you what your excuse was before I started my blog?